Mental health first aid — dare to ask, dare to listen, dare to act

World Suicide Prevention Day, 10 September

10 September is World Suicide Prevention Day. A day that reminds us suicide can be prevented, and that all of us can make a difference — as managers, as colleagues and as fellow human beings.

We are quite good at reacting when someone is physically hurt. If a colleague collapsed at work, few of us would walk past assuming someone else would deal with it.

When it comes to mental suffering, we often become more hesitant.

We may see that someone is changing. A colleague who withdraws. An employee who suddenly starts arriving late, makes more mistakes or loses their usual engagement. A friend who no longer gets in touch.

We notice that something is not right.

But do we ask?

On 10 September, World Suicide Prevention Day is marked around the globe. A day that shines a light on a question we need to carry with us every day: how do we get better at seeing each other and daring to act when we are worried?

The late psychiatrist and suicide researcher Jan Beskow described suicide as a psychological accident. A suicide is rarely the result of a single event. As with other accidents, it is often a series of circumstances that together can lead to a catastrophe.

I think that perspective matters. Because if we can prevent physical accidents, we can also work to prevent psychological ones.

And we can learn mental health first aid.

Not so that we become clinicians or therapists. So that we dare to be fellow human beings.

Dare to ask

The first step is often the one that feels hardest.

Actually asking.

We may be afraid of interfering. Afraid of the answer. Afraid of making the situation worse. And when it comes to suicide, the belief persists that asking can plant the thought.

But if you are worried about someone — ask.

It can start simply:

• How are you, really?
• You do not seem yourself. How are things?
• I am actually a little worried about you.

And if what you hear worries you, you also need to dare to ask the direct question:

• Do you have thoughts about not wanting to live?
• Are you having suicidal thoughts?

We do not need to overcomplicate it. What matters most is not finding the perfect question. What matters most is that we dare to ask it.

“It is never dangerous to ask. You are not waking a sleeping bear. It is the silence that is dangerous.”

Marie, speaker on suicide prevention, mental health and work environment at Helo

Dare to listen

Once we have asked, the next challenge comes.

Listening. Properly.

When someone tells us life is hard, it is easy to start looking for solutions straight away. We want to comfort, to offer advice, to say it will surely get better.

But sometimes we just need to stay a while in the difficulty.

• Tell me more.
• How long has it been like this?
• What feels hardest of all right now?

And then listen to the answer.

You do not need wise answers to everything that is said. You do not need to solve the situation. Being seen, listened to and taken seriously can make a great difference to someone who is struggling.

Dare to act

Mental health first aid does not stop at asking and listening. We also need to dare to act.

If a person tells you about suicidal thoughts, we need to help take the next step. That can mean contacting healthcare, occupational health or a family member together. Where there is acute risk, we need to make sure the person gets emergency help.

Do not hand the whole responsibility back to the person who is already struggling to cope.

You are not there to treat. You are not there to solve another person’s life.

But you can stay, and help the person onwards. You can hold the hope on their behalf when they cannot feel any of their own.

As a manager you have an important opportunity

In a workplace, the manager has an important role.

Not as a clinician, and not to diagnose mental ill health. But as the person able to notice changes and act on what affects the work.

It might be an employee who suddenly performs less well, starts making more mistakes, has high absence, changes their behaviour or no longer functions as they did. The cause may lie at work or outside it.

What matters in the first conversation is not always knowing why. What matters is reacting to what you see.

Say it.

I have noticed you have not seemed yourself lately. I am worried. How are things?

It is not the manager’s job to solve everything happening in an employee’s life. But as a manager you do need to act when something affects the work, work environment or the employee’s ability to do their job.

And sometimes it starts with a question.

As a colleague you can see what the manager misses

We spend a large part of our waking hours with people at work. So it may just as easily be a colleague who first notices that something has changed.

The person who always came to the coffee break no longer does. Someone who usually talks goes quiet. A colleague seems tired, sad, irritable or unusually resigned.

It is easy to think:

• It is probably nothing.
• I do not want to interfere.
• Someone else knows her better.

But what if everyone thinks that?

We do not need to analyse each other. We do not need to diagnose each other.

We can ask. And sometimes we need to ask again.

Human kindness is suicide prevention

Suicide prevention is of course about healthcare, treatment and professional intervention. But it does not always start there.

It can start at the coffee machine. In an appraisal. On the way home from work. In a text message to someone who has gone unusually quiet.

We rarely know everything going on in another person’s life. So we need workplaces and communities where we dare to care about each other, even when it feels a little uncomfortable.

You do not need to know everything about mental ill health or suicide. You do not need all the answers. But you can do something.

Dare to ask. Dare to listen. Dare to act.

That is mental health first aid.

And all of us can learn it.

Where to find help

If you or someone close to you is struggling, support is available around the clock in Sweden.

• If life is in immediate danger — call 112.
• Självmordslinjen (the Suicide Prevention Line) — call 90101 or chat at mind.se, around the clock, all year. The call is anonymous and free.
• Hjälplinjen — the national mental health support line for anyone over 18. Call 90390 or write via hjalplinjen.se, around the clock.
• 1177 Vårdguiden — call 1177 or visit 1177.se for advice on where to turn in your region.
• At work — talk to your manager, HR or occupational health. Many employers also have agreements for crisis support.

Lecture: Mental health first aid

Every day, people are struggling in silence. In my lecture Mental health first aid — dare to ask, dare to listen, dare to act, we go through how we recognise the warning signs, ask the questions that matter, listen properly and help someone on to the right support.

The lecture is built on research, experience and concrete tools — and shows how all of us can make a difference. Sometimes save a life.

Would you like to learn mental health first aid in your workplace?